The weirdest thing happened to me today. Daddy took me for a ride in my new rolling crate. I told him to go to the dog park, but he took me to...the vet! That bastard is really testing me. Anyway. It's still kind of fuzzy, and I don't remember the details but one minute someone is petting me the next thing I know they freaking jab me with something and I fall asleep. When I wake up they shaved my belly, cut me, and said that the chipped me. What the hell does chipping mean? Don't these humans know what a potato chip is for? It's for eating! Daddy said they took my "Youterrorist" out. I don't know what a youterrorist is but I want mine back. He's probably mad at me for humping his arm last night. When he falls asleep tonight I'm going to shave his eyebrows and take his youterrorist. Just you watch!
The furry oaf also informed me that some of you are unhappy with my output of work. Listen to me human, I have a very busy life of licking myself, watching TV, and making some one clean up my poop for me to be writing all the time. Any more backtalk will force me to hijack a bus and come to where you live so that I can poop in your bed!